I still miss my lil’ ol’ man. I miss his little wagglin’ stub of a tail. I miss his rough, wiry, coat. I miss his little bread. I miss his little animated eyebrows. I miss his “oh bother” Eeyore attitude. I miss his passion for stuffed bones and I even miss his indifference to stuffed toys. I miss the way he used to pull like a fiend even when he was sick. I miss the fight in his soul and his determination to make us happy. I miss his light blue, glazed over, cataract eyes.
I hate the fact that his last few weeks were so painful and humiliating for him. I wish I could have done more for him. I wish we could have given him one more trail walk before he was too weak to move. I wish I could have been a better pet parent and figured out he was terribly sick sooner…maybe he could have been saved.
We’ve joked at how different Fry is from Woody. How much life and energy Fry has that Woody didn’t. But that’s not right. Woody had a ton of energy; he just reserved it for special moments like running and tricks for treats and long trail walks. I often ponder how much Fry and Woody would have gotten along. Wonder if Woody would have learned things from Fry or if Fry would have chilled more being around lil’ ol’ man. Would they have been jealous for our attention or would they have tag teamed us for pets.
I have to not worry so much about what happened a year ago. The vet reassured me there would have been no real warning signs that he his long term illness was taking hold and not letting go. That I did all I could. That I was responsible and caring. I can’t dwell on it, worry so much about it, something that can’t be changed. Nick reminded me that Woody had a very loving home for his 3.75 years with me. That I picked him up after 2 different people had taken him home and brought him back to the shelter. That I took him in when the shelter was giving up hope. That woody knew how lucky he was that I nurtured him instead of tossing him back at the first sign of trouble. But I still feel I should have been able to do more. It was so apparent he had such a troubled first 8 years and I should have been able to give him more in our time together.
But it’s all in the past now. There is nothing I can do to change all that has happened. Living in the past will only hurt me. Hold me back. I have a new little wagglin’ tail boy to raise and nurture. I need to focus on the present. Remember the good times. Stop dwelling on the pain.
The importance of blocking
I have only ever blocked one piece but this definitely shows that blocking makes everything look better and that I should start doing it for everything I finish.
So true. I actually have only blocked once. But it made SO much difference!
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“Whenever you leave behind failure, you’re doing good. If you think everything you’ve done is great, you’re probably dumb.”
Happy Birthday, you beautiful human being. Louis CK is 46 today. (Artwork by Louie Van Patten)
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